1. The ones that will just message you from literally nowhere like ‘Hi babe’
Please, who are you?
2. The ones that will send you ‘I miss you’, but you only talked to them once
I miss youtube, though.
3. The ones that will message you only when you put up a fine display picture
Association by dp only!
4. What of the ones that only remember you when you put your hot friend as display picture
It will now pepper them when you don’t give them her number.
5. The ones that are just there to monitor your time on WhatsApp
“You were online at 3 am, but you didn’t reply my message.”
6. Let’s not forget the ones that only know how to send you broadcast messages
Na only you waka come?.. na dis one the pain me pass.
7. … and even send you links to job vacancies from 1900
Are you sick, bro?
8. Some will even start asking about your views on ‘polygamy’ before you actually meet them
This one is already planning to make you his second wife.
9. And most recently, the ones that will say you should come and join MMM
Come and carry me to join now.
10. What of the occassional forgotten ex, that slides in with a ‘hey, big head’?
Oga, if you don’t disappear from this place.
11. The most annoying ones are the ones that come at you with ‘you’ve forgotten me’ or ‘you never call me’ bants
But if you call me first you won’t die sha.
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